The joy of a new bike? Sounds nice, but the older ones were a cut above

By Larry McGee

Larry McGee

I’ve been looking at bicycles. Yes, for myself. I need to exercise more, and walking is boring. I can’t get far enough from home before I am too pooped to go farther, so, I don’t walk very far. I figure with a bicycle I will be able to get far enough with my original burst of energy that when I turn and head for home I will get more exercise than walking. Besides, if I can get up the hill to the north of my place, all I have to do on the return is coast down. Unlike walking, bicycling includes a certain amount of coasting. That kind of exercise is my kind of exercise.

Bicycles aren’t like I remember them. None seem to have pedal brakes. The brakes are all on the handle bars. You squeeze those puppies, and you can go right over the handle bars. I know how to feather brakes on the pedals, but my hands are for steering. I don’t want to think about braking when I am busy steering.

Few of today’s bikes have fenders. What’s a fellow to do when he gets away from home and it begins to rain? It’s one thing to be covered with water from the roadway, but my roads get muddy when it rains. I don’t want to be covered with mud before I coast home.

I don’t remember bicycle seats being so small and uncomfortable. I know I have put on weight, and I am well aware that my posterior is not as small as it used to be, but those narrow seats are like trying to straddle a wood splitting wedge. They have no padding whatsoever. I remember seats that were seats. You sat on them, and both cheeks rested securely on the seat. You didn’t straddle the seat. Now I know why when I pass a cyclist on the road he is always pedaling with his butt in the air off the seat. He can’t sit on that dainty wedge.

And that’s another thing. Why do all the handle bars curl underneath? You have to ride with your butt in the air and your nose a few inches from the front tire. I want a bike you sit on with handle bars that extend in the air at least half way toward my arms, which become an extension of the handle bars and allow my back to remain straight. When I see a neighbor in his front yard, I want to be able to wave at him with one hand. With today’s bike you don’t dare take one hand off the handle bars or you will fall forward over the bars themselves.

It could be that bicycles aren’t built today for the same reason bicycles were built in my youth. Bicycles used to be a means of transportation. They were designed to take you from one place to another. They were freedom to get away from home. They provided a young boy with the opportunity to explore what lay beyond the horizon. I remember riding my bike to my friend’s house in the country. There was no car at home for my mother to use, and if there had been she wouldn’t have hauled me anywhere. I knew that was what my bike was for.

How long has it been since you’ve seen a young man riding a bike with a fishing pole in one hand and a can of worms in the other? If I wanted to go fishing I knew how to get to my favorite fishing hole on the creek two miles from town. I rode my bike, and if I caught anything I would ride home with the fish stringer tied through my belt loop and the fish banging against my leg.

My bike was my transportation that enabled me to get my first job as a paper boy. I delivered the Omaha World Herald to fifty customers every morning. I rode my bike to the railroad depot before daylight every day; my papers would be tossed from the speeding train on to the brick walkway in front of the depot. They would be wrapped in one bundle and bound with wire. It was my job to cut the wire with pliers and fold my papers so they could be tossed on front porches of my customers. With a canvas bag thrown over my shoulder, I would begin my route pedaling about town. That bicycle meant everything to me. It provided a boy his first introduction to adulthood and to working for a living and what it means to be depended upon.

I am not sure I will find a new bike like I want. I may have to look for a used one, with a little character and a bigger seat.